I am honestly curious about something. Is my life normal? I mean, do most other people have the day-in day-out craziness and non-stop circus atmosphere that is my life? I'm not complaining. I know that I have a very good life in many ways--I don't have any flesh-eating diseases, none of my family members have ever appeared on Jerry Springer, I don't have to drive to the state prison to visit any of my children, and none of my in-laws live with me. But there is a constant swirl of insanity in my life and every once in awhile, I wonder if every one else lives in their own constant swirl of insanity, too.
My daughter C and her fiance E were in town for ten days for a whirlwind wedding planning visit. My daughter A came in to go to appointments with us. Ten days of trying on dresses, visiting prospective reception sites, meetings with a wedding planner, talking and talking about where, how, when, and who. C was sick when she got here, so within a few days, so were E and daughter M, who lives at home. M is finishing up her junior year of high school, so we wedged some end of year events into the schedule, too. There was all the usual shopping, cooking, and cleaning that goes with having house-guests, plus a dog who is still biting the rash on his tail where fur used to be, plus visits with their old friends from high school, plus appointments with family doctors to take care of while in town, and since it was Memorial Day weekend, barbecue food needed to be prepared and enjoyed.
It was great having them home and a lot of fun, but exhausting. A drove back to Pittsburgh on Saturday and by the time we got back from dropping C and E at the airport Monday night, all I wanted to do was float on a raft in the pool until I was as wrinkled as Grandma Moses.
Before I could even get home, I got a call from M saying that she needed me to go with her to a craft store for supplies for a school project. We pulled in the driveway at 5:30, and since the store closed at 6, pulled right back out again. Shopping was followed by dinner which was followed by trying to put the house back into some semblance of order.
Then the fun began. I received a text from C saying that they had made it to their layover in Minnesota and were taking off for the final leg of the journey back to North Dakota, but the pilot said there were severe thunderstorms in their path. She informed me, by text, that they were going to try to fly through the eye of the storm. And that was it. Then I got to wait, nervously gnawing at fingernails that don't have much room left for gnawing.
My oldest daughter then called to talk about her upcoming visit home (she is flying in today for a wedding this weekend) and while we were discussing details, I got a text from A that went like this, "Can I ask you a weird question?" No parent ever wants to get a text like that. A graduated from Pitt in April, but is staying out there for another year while her boyfriend finishes up his teaching degree. I cautiously replied, "Okay," and waited for the shoe to drop. She texted back, "Would you mind if I go to Canada tomorrow?" I guess for some people that isn't an odd question, but for us, it came from so far out in left field, it was in the bleachers. I told oldest daughter J that I had to go so I could call A and find out what she was talking about.
When I reached her, A told me that some sorority sisters were driving up to Canada the next day to stay for just one night to see Niagara Falls and wanted her to go with them. I got her to agree that she wouldn't get "Oh Canada" tattooed anywhere on her body, wouldn't go over the falls in a barrel or anything else, and wouldn't elope while there, and then gave her my blessing to take the trip. Of course, she was sitting in a bar doing birthday shots with her roommate when we talked, so I'm not sure she knew what she was agreeing to and I won't be surprised if she comes home married to a Canadian barrel racer with an American flag tattoo from a drunken misreading of my instructions.
Once I handled that situation, my youngest told me that she was having problems printing out a pamphlet for a psychology class assignment that was due the next day. She had completed the work, but the printer wasn't co-operating. I agreed to check the printer in an hour to make sure the pamphlets had printed and went back to writing. She went to bed since it was after 11 and she had school the next day.
I got another text from C at 12:20 saying, "Back in Minn two hours later. Probably here for the night." I called and she said they got about a half hour outside Grand Forks and had to turn around because of the storms. I asked if the airline was going to put them up at a hotel and she said no, they wanted them to hang out at the airport while they decided what to do.
Ding, ding, 1:02 and another text. "Looks like we're reboarding soon, looking at the radar, I think there is a gap in the storms, we're going to try to go through." Be still my heart. I called and asked if there was an option to spend the night and fly the next day, but she said there were no seats available on any flights. I hung up and looked at Barnaby, who now has a puff of fur at the base of his tail, a long section of what looks like pink playdoh, and then an odd little tuft that survived at the very top, and even he looked nervous. But then again, that's his usual expression.
I left my home office to check the printer and found nothing sitting in the tray. In the chair next to the printer, I saw four printed documents and a page that was crumbled as though it had come out of a paper jam. Hmm, curious. I absolutely love technology, but there is nothing as frustrating as technology that won't do what it's supposed to do. I used M's laptop to send the page to the printer again and it started shooting out pages with bits and pieces of text, but not the whole thing. I canceled and tried again with the same result. Oh, well, I thought, I'll just save it to a memory stick and print it on the one in my office. Except the laptop refused to recognize the memory stick. I tried for a half hour, but no luck. So I decided to email the pamphlet as an attachment to myself and and then print it in my office. In order to attach a doc, you have to close it first, so I did. Then I opened her email account and when I went to attach the doc, I couldn't find it anywhere. Another half hour went by as I searched for it, including in recent documents, and I finally found it in a sub-folder of another sub-folder.
I sent the email, went back to my office, and opened the file. But since my daughter typed it on a PC and I have a Mac, there were updates and patches and blood oaths that had to take place before my Mac would consider giving the print order. And once it was printing, since it was a tri-fold pamphlet with printing on both sides, it took me awhile to figure out which way to put the paper back in and what to ask the printer to do before I got it right. Plus there were the obvious questions of how many does she need, do I fold them, and why does this teacher hate me, too.
I finally finished with the pamphlet at 2 a.m. (spending most of that time wondering about the possibility of this whole thing being the actual psychology assignment--"See how far you can push subject before he/she snaps"). My eyes were bleary, I was having trouble making my legs move, and I had ink stains on my fingers, but I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep until I knew that C and E had landed safely. Being a writer, I must admit to having a bit of an active imagination, so of course I was picturing lightning strikes, turbulence, and C screaming, "I should have never left my mommy!" At 2:30 a.m., she finally texted, "Landed in Grand Forks, thank goodness." I replied and then stumbled off to bed to recharge for whatever awaited me in the morning, including a possible Canadian son-in-law.
I wish that I could say that this was a rare rogue wave in an otherwise calm sea, but this kind of stuff happens to me about as regularly as waves hit a beach. So I just want to know, is anyone else out there treading water or are you all floating on a raft, trailing your fingers in the cool water, sipping from a drink with an umbrella in it?
I could really use one of those umbrella drinks right now.
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